Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
