like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
