I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
