Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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