David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
