Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
