I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Semen is not good for contacts.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
