He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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