Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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