drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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