I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
