A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
