soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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