I must be too annoying 4 u.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
