Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
