Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
