A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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