why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I understand Curling. That high.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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