At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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