i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
