Apparently you make a good broom.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
