Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
