take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
