just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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