New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize