I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
