Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
