were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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