If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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