yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
