we're blogging at a bar
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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