so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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