im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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