I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
