Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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