How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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