well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
