so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
