dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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