Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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