We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
