Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
