i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
