it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
