Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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