There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize