It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
