I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Welp...herpes.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
