So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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