my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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