I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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