shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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