I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
