listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize