my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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