IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
