3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
