He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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