yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
