I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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