Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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