Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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