you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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