therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
