this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
