Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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