I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
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Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize