his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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