I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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