i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
3pm strippers are depressing
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
