biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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